


Aftermath

by crisfeline



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011), Thor - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-08
Updated: 2013-05-26
Packaged: 2017-11-13 19:40:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crisfeline/pseuds/crisfeline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take of what happened at the end of The Avengers. Focused mainly on Thor and Loki...because they are perfect and I love them together!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Up to Chapter 8 this story is actually for general audiences. Only the philial or brotherly love relationship is displayed.  
> From the very end of chapter 9 on. the rating changes to Mature.

I don’t own the characters and this is a piece of fanfiction that does not make any profit.

Setting: At the end of the movie.

Warnings: Some bad language from time to time.

Chapter 1

“If it’s all the same to you, I’ll have that drink now.” Loki, battered and bruised said to the victors.

 

They were all there looking down on him. Tony Stark in his magical armour, his heart beaming blue on his chest; the soldier from other times, the tiny archer still holding up his bow aiming at his face; Thor, standing just a step behind the runt archer and the red headed woman, the warrior lady who was holding his sceptre, the one that had been given to him by the Chitauri. And there was the green beast, standing still behind them all.

“Is it safe to give him booze? He does enough shit when he’s sober…” Tony Stark smirked and looked at Thor searching for an answer.

“Give it to him, he’s under control.” Thor replied without taking his eyes from his brother’s figure.

“Really?” grunted Hawkeye.

“A human measure is nothing for us Asgardians.” Thor explained impatiently.

“I wouldn’t give him anything, not even water.” Hawkeye would not take his aim off Loki’s face.

“Why should we bother giving him anything he might ask for?” The Black widow tightened her grip on the scepter looking at Loki scornfully.

“Just a glass, nothing will happen, I can assure you.” Thor said tersely.

“We’d better find some kind of restraints for him instead.” Hawkeye insisted on being contrary to Thor.

“Give him a drink! It’s just the honorable thing to do!” The old soldier was getting impatient with the others and took Thor’s side. “If not alcohol, why not giving him some water. The prisoner is thirsty.” Steve Rogers tried to persuade them.

“What I want to give him is an arrow between the eyes, the son of a bitch!” Hawkeye was getting angrier by the second just by looking at Loki’s face.

“Agent Barton, Loki is my brother therefore we have the same mother…” Thor was making a great effort to calm himself, to rein his temper, “So…if you say what you’ve just said to him you’re offending MY mother, too!” Suddenly, though Thor was making an effort not to be angry, there was lighting outside. Loki winced and everyone else looked at Thor alarmed. “No one insults MY mother!” Thor shouted and there was the loud rumble of thunder outside Stark’s tower.

 

With this they started bickering and yelling, their voices becoming a cacophony Loki was not grateful for. Tony Stark was asking what kind of liquor should he give Loki and joking about fixing him a cocktail, maybe a grass hopper to match his cape? Thor continued his diatribe against Barton insisting that Asgardians could drink eight gallons of midgardian liquor and still be sober. And then telling Barton that if they were in Asgard he would have to face years of forced labour for insulting the queen and her children; Natasha trying to calm them down by shouting at them; Captain Rogers insisting on applying the Geneva protocol for the treatment of war prisoners and provide Loki with food, water, medical attention and a humane treatment covering his basic needs; Hawkeye telling Banner not to come back since they needed the Hulk to keep Loki safely intimidated. He was telling the Hulk he should knock Loki unconscious when they all got quiet because they heard Loki’s low chuckle.

“Nice team you have there, my brother! You can’t even agree on such petty things.” Loki grimaced but his shoulders shook with laughter.

Without a word, Captain Rogers was already behind the bar pouring scotch on a tall glass.

“Put the bow down!” Thor growled, “Please, agent Barton.” He tried to soften his order.

Steve handed Tony the glass of scotch. “Why me?” he complained receiving the glass from the soldier. “Last time I got close to this guy he threw me out of the tower. From my tower!”

“It’s your scotch, it’s your tower. I suppose you should do it.” Steve replied simply.

“Oh, well!” Tony Stark sighed theatrically. “Here, drink it and don’t even think on hurling the glass at me.” Thor made a disapproving sound at this. “What?” Tony looked at Thor, “It’s very fine and expensive glass!” He stepped towards Loki who was still half laying on the floor, half propped on his elbow. Loki reached to the glass but his arm moved in a jerky, shaky way. His other arm gave a little under him. His hand seemed to have forgotten how to move steadily. Loki looked up at his brother with a confused expression on his face. There was something strange about his eyes, something unsettling that Thor couldn’t help but notice. It wasn’t the confusion or their lack of clear focus. It was alarming.

“One of his pupils is larger than the other!” Captain Rogers pointed out.

“Dilation of one or two pupils is a symptom of moderate to severe traumatic brain injury.” Tony Stark commented in a matter of fact fashion.

Loki paid no attention to them as he gingerly took the glass to his lips spilling some of the liquid in his thirst and shakiness. Thor watched him as he drank. He was surprised as to how uncoordinated Loki’s movements seemed. One of the things he always admired from his brother was his precise elegance and now, he, who had always been almost fastidious about his manners and his every move, was wiping the scotch from his chin and lips with the back of the hand. Thor felt a strange pain in his chest as he saw how Loki’s fingers seemed stiff and weird as he passed the back of his hand over his mouth.

“Lack of coordination could be a sign of brain injury.” Bruce Banner said approaching them wearing a towel taken from the nearest rest room around his waist. The beast was gone and in the doctor’s voice there was a slight tinge of remorse and shame.

TBC


	2. All the other kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki wants a drink, Banner is naked, Thor is worried, Clint and Natasha are defensive, Tony is snarky and Steve wants to follow the Geneva convention.

Chapter 2  
All the other kids

 

Thor looked at Banner and then back at Loki who was still half sitting on the shattered tiles on the floor. He took the empty glass from Loki’s hand before it dropped to the floor as his fingers seemed to go limp involuntarily.

“Can you sit?” Thor asked his brother in barely a whisper.

Loki nodded but when he placed his palms on the floor to help himself sit up they went weak and couldn’t hold the weight of his torso so he fell on his right side. The prisoner grimaced but didn’t make a sound.

“See? See that? That is brain injury. It seems more severe than moderate.” Dr. Banner moved toward the Asgardian brothers clutching the towel around his waist with one hand. Thor knelt on one knee and passed his powerful arm around Loki’s shoulders helping him sit up.

“Hey, Doc, before you continue the diagnosis of Mr. Freaky right there, let me lend you some clothes.” Tony Stark said, placing a hand on Banner’s arm.

“I’d appreciate that.” Banner accepted the offer feeling exposed.

“Please do, there’s a lady in the room!” Captain Rogers was more mortified than he cared to admit.

“Yeah, and we don’t want you to show her your little Hulk there.” Tony Stark took him by the arm and led him through a hall. “Keep an eye on your little bro, Thor!” Stark shouted as they left.

Clint Barton still had the bow in his hand. Though he was not aiming anymore he was ready for anything that might happen, keeping both eyes glued on Loki, ready to attack if necessary.

Natasha held the scepter in an equally defensive way. Thor slid his arm to Loki’s waist and stood up bringing Loki to his feet with him. Loki’s silence worried Thor, it revealed that his inability to properly move or keep his posture was not a lie, it was not a ruse.

Natasha didn’t share Thor’s opinion and was highly suspicious of Loki’s behavior. “How do we know he’s not faking? Isn’t he a very good liar?” she asked Thor.

“You should know, lady. It takes a liar to spot a liar.” Loki said through clenched teeth.

Thor didn’t answer the black widow but instead he decided to show her, Barton and Rogers that Loki was truly unable to stand. He let go of his brother’s waist and Loki swayed before almost falling on his face, his arms ineffectively trying to get a grip on something. He managed to grab Thor’s forearm and Thor wrapped his arm around his waist again preventing his fall.

“See?” Thor said to the others.

“He could still be a very good actor.” Barton commented still not convinced.

“What happened to you?” Natasha addressed Loki directly.

“Your beastly friend smashed me on the floor repeatedly.” Loki replied in a weary low voice.

“Oh, that explains it!” said Steve Rogers with a thoughtful look on his face.

“I think we should contact Fury.” Natasha stepped back looking for Stark’s phone. “There are decisions to take.”

“Meanwhile, we can leave the prisoner on Thor’s custody, since they are of …” Rogers faltered looking for the words to put it in a formal, impersonal way, “the same nature and similar strength.” At this Loki laughed under his breath. Captain Rogers decided to ignore the malignant sound of Loki’s low laugh and continued, “Stark should come up with some kind of contraption that can be used as a restraint for the prisoner. We also need to take him to a safe location, isolate him and provide him with medical aid, food, water… I insist that we must follow the Geneva convention.” He turned to look at Banner who was dressed now and stood next to him. Banner nodded.

“That won’t be necessary.” Thor said and without losing his grip on Loki’s waist, he produced a long thin chain with shackles on its ends from a pocket on the inside of his clothes. Along with it he showed them what looked like a gag. They were platinum coloured but they were made out of some kind of Asgardian metal unknown to Banner and the rest. 

“Will they hold?” Stark was looking at them with genuine curiosity and fascination.

“They will. My father gave them to me when we decided I should come and stop Loki. They are not ordinary restraints.” Thor was holding to Loki firmly but his voice sounded strangely sad, subdued.

“You mean you could have put those on him when you kidnapped him from the plane so you could have stopped him from continuing with his schemes then?” Barton sounded indignant.

“You don’t understand, agent Barton.” Thor simply said. “I had my reasons.”

“Thor, your arm…” Loki rasped. Thor realized his grip on Loki’s waist was too strong and he could feel his vertebrae even through Loki’s thick armor. There was something strange about that, too. He loosened his grip a little and Loki sighed in relief.

“Can I take him to another chamber, Tony Stark?” Thor ignored Barton and turned his head towards Stark. “Somewhere I can put the restraints on him.”

“Naturally, let me think. Not to my lab…but to my testing room, that is one of the strongest parts of the tower.” Tony raised his voice. “Jarvis, Show Thor the way.”

Thor took Loki to the testing room. Natasha and Steve looked at how Loki’s left foot hung lose and how he limped as Thor advanced with his arm around the waist of the dark haired asgardian.

Tbc…


	3. Petty beings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shawarma, Thor asking what the hell Facebook is, hurts Loki and stubborn, more exactly resolute Thor.

 

Thor groaned desperately, angered by Tony Stark’s thoughtlessness. Loki’s breathing was labored and his body shivered in excruciating pain. Banner stepped out to the hallway making shushing sounds and gestures to Stark. “What’s up? No Shawarma, I’m hungry and you all promised.” Tony approached Banner.

“He has put the restraints on his brother and I think they did something to him because he looks even more battered than before” Steve Rogers whispered to Stark and Banner.

“He deserves far worse than that.” Agent Barton said standing behind them in the hallway.

“Behave yourself, agent Barton, this is about Thor.” Steve Rogers said in a whisper. “Not even about Loki, it’s about Thor.” He repeated. “He’s really upset, he cares about his brother whether we understand it or not”.

Bruce Banner joined them in the hallway and Stark got near to ask him.

“So, what’s the deal with those thingies?” Stark said referring to the restraints. “Are they giving Loki a well deserved wedgie or what?”

“ I don’t think so.” Banner half smiled. “But very strange things happened in there just before and then after Thor put the restraints on him.”

“Why don’t ask him? I mean, he brought them , he must know how the hell they work.” Stark suggested and entered the testing room. Thor was helping Loki sit on the bench, Loki’s legs seemed about to give way under him.

“Tony Stark, I care not about your midgardian apetite.” Thor said sternly.

“Come on, you must be hungry, too!” Tony loved mocking the Asgardian prince. “Oh, sorry, I should remember how one must talk to royalty. So: Are not thou in need of sustenance?”

“Why do you talk to me like that?”Thor asked clearly exasperated. “First the comments about my mother’s drapes and now you continue to mock me. Man of Iron, know that my mother does not occupy herself with the drapes and linen in the palace. There are a steward and a house keeper who take care of those domestic affairs. And why would my brother and I be wearing drapes? The drapes we use in our chambers are far too long plus we have proper capes.” Thor huffed angrily.

Tony Stark could not fight the smirk on his lips at Thor’s outburst but was smart enough to know Thor was on edge.

“Understood.” He shrugged, “ I’m just a commoner, buddy, how would I know of Asgardian noble houses?” He shrugged.

“I thought you were some kind of prince.” Thor was genuinely surprised.

“No, I’m just a very rich lucky guy.” He looked pointedly at Loki, “What’s with the chains and that kinky looking muzzle, Thor?”

Thor looked at him frowning in disapproval, “Kinky?”

Steve Rogers grunted a sigh and addressed Thor, “What Mr. Stark here wanted to say was that he is wondering what is the effect of the restraints on your brother.”

“The allfather made them to strip Loki’s powers from him.” Thor explains glancing at his brother who sat there with the head hanging to his chest.

“So, how powerless is he now, then?” Stark questioned Thor.

“I don’t like to talk about him as if he weren’t here.” Thor said to Stark and putting his large hand around Stark’s arm and guided him to the hallway. “ He’s weakened to the level of a regular midgardian.” Thor barely whipered.

“Perfect! So we find him a couple of SHIELD baby sitters and we go for Shawarma!” Stark quipped winking at Thor.

Thor was not in the mood for jokes but courtesy was important, more so when you have to indulge the man who almost killed himself to stop the destruction unleashed by your brother. So, even if it was a petty request Thor thought it was surely important for Tony Stark and he could not refuse the invitation.

“Director Fury already sent some agents so I’ll tell them that we need a well armed group to keep an eye on reindeer games…or ex-reindeer games since I see he lost his antlers.”

“It’s fine, man of Iron, we’ll go and get your sustenance.” Thor finally admitted and got into the cell again. “Brother, is not honorable to decline the invitation of the man who helped us and kept us here in his dwelling. I’ll be back soon enough.”

Loki didn’t even acknowledge Thor’s presence and continued sitting there looking like the very image of defeat. He wanted to be completely alone and lay down. He felt weakened and exhausted, all the pain from his injuries had increased and he tried hard to hide his discomfort. He clasped his hands on his lap and looked down at his boots that only now looked really scruffy to him.

They left Stark Tower all the avengers together. They traveled in one of Stark’s huge comfortable limousines. Once they got to the place, which entrance was partially blocked with debris, the smell of food reminded Thor that it had been at least 3 days since his last meal just before he left Asgard. The clerks and employees at the local were ecstatic to see them. They were also very grateful and honored to serve their heroes. 

As soon as Thor finished his meal he started worrying about Loki. He knew his injuries would become graver in this weakened state. And there were even more worrisome things ahead for them both. He didn’t exactly know what the punishment for Loki would be but what he did know was that a long trial awaited him. His father and the council would precede it and Loki had no one for his defense, he was beyond defense, he would have to confess for his actions and try, somehow, to stand for himself. Thor’s head started to ache, how could anyone justify Loki’s acts of great destruction?

Thor was lost to his musings when Captain Rogers patted his shoulder. “It’s time to go back to the Tower.”

Thor nodded and followed the rest back to the limousine. He sat next to the window and stared at the destruction left in the wake of Loki’s madness. Captain Rogers and Dr. Banner looked at him in silence. Banner looked away after a few seconds feeling he was intruding. Captain Rogers felt for him, it surely was hell to take Loki back to his father knowing he was beyond any justification. And it showed Thor cared deeply about his brother. “Do you know if they’ll allow you to take your brother back home?” He finally asked a little shyly.

“I will take him home, no matter what.” Thor replied with utter conviction.

“Let’s see what SHIELD has to say about that.” Dr. Banner remarked. “You’ll have to talk about it with Fury.”

“I’m determined, Dr. Banner.” He simply said and continued gazing outside the window.

“I don’t think it’s fair.” Agent Barton blurted.

Thor turned his head to look at him in the seat behind his. He frowned but said nothing and then the man continued, “He came to destroy our planet, it’s our right to judge him and sentence him.”

“I’m not going to argue, Agent Barton. I just know that I have to go back to Asgard in two days, and that when I leave the Teseract and my brother will go with me. Understand that both belong to Asgard and Midgard would only be in peril if either stays here.”

“Why two days?” Captain Rogers asked.

“It’s the time in which my father will summon enough dark energy to bring us back. The Bifrost remains broken.” Thor explained.

“Wait up, Thor! Didn’t you say your brother is powerless while wearing those restraints?” Tony Stark queried.

“Yes, he is powerless.” Thor replied.

“Then, we can punish him here. I’m sure SHIELD is already working on a suitable cell for him.” Barton presumed.

“You don’t know my brother. He can outsmart anyone.” Thor said and he sounded almost proud of Loki. “And he will have his trial and sentence in Asgard, agent Barton. I promise that, for your satisfaction, when he receives his sentence I will look for a way to let you know. I’m afraid my father and the council won’t be lenient.”

“Don’t you have facebook?” Tony Stark said.

“I don’t…but Darcy has a picture of me in hers.” Thor replied. “Or so she told me. What is that book for? Is it a magical book?”

“Almost.” Stark laughed. “Well, if you had it you could inform us of your lil’ bro’s sentence in a status update.” Stark joked.

“Stop being silly, Mr. Stark!” Captain Rogers felt that Stark was disrespectful to Thor. “It’s not courteous to make fun of a person who does not share your culture.” But he was as confused as Thor about the concept of Facebook.

“Or your times.” Dr. Banner said looking pointedly at Rogers.

“ Shawarma turned you all into a bunch of bores! Maybe it’s due to a difficult digestion. Point break here does not take it bad, do you?” He smiled at Thor.

“No, I know he’s a jester.” Thor answered. “I’m not bothered by any of his jokes, and many escape me. When I come back next time, you’ll have to explain some of those names you call me.”

“They are not offensive, Point Break was a great movie and Patrick Swayze looked hot in it, even to me!”Tony Stark continued his banter.

“Hot? Do I look like I have a fever?” Thor was puzzled.

“Next time I promise I’ll explain ALL the name calling and slang, buddy.” Tony shook his head.

They rode back to the Tower in silence. Natasha was in the back sit with Barton, both of them dozing because of the heavy meal and the battle. Captain Rogers just stared out the other window wistfully, Tony Stark chatted with Dr. Banner about the things that he would need to repair and improve for Iron Man.

Thor’s mind was full of thoughts of his brother and full of regrets and worries. Perhaps this was, after the time he thought Loki was dead, the darkest hour of his life. Not even his banishment had been that cruel to him. It was so painful to see his brother in such a state, crazed, unreasonable, full of hate. It upset him to see him bruised and battered, to see his garments torn and stained. He was Loki, his perpetual companion, his first and best friend through ages. And now he was lost, misguided, broken and defeated.

As soon as they arrived to Stark Tower, they were assigned rooms so that they could stay while Loki was being kept there. Natasha and Clint declined and went back to the chambers SHIELD had for them. They thank Stark and left on Natasha’s vehicle. They had a lot to talk about. Captain Rogers accepted his rooms and stepped into the shower as soon as he got to them. He wanted to remove the soot and dust from the battle covering him. Bruce Banner did the same .The SHIELD logistics team had provided them with personal effects for the next days.

Pepper Potts was the one in charge of leading Thor into the guest room they had prepared for him. So she led him as soon as they arrived. “Tony insisted that you should take this guest room, which is not the largest or best one we have, but it’s in the same floor as the testing room.” She said as she opened the door for him. “As you can see, they are not very luxurious and I’m sure they don’t meet the standards you are used to, we are still redecorating.”

“They will suffice, Lady Pepper,” he took her hand, bowed and kissed it. 

Pepper could not help but giggle a bit and blush. The she regained her poise and indicated the bathroom and the dresser. “They appointed the bathroom with anything you may need in case you want to freshen up. The water temperature is automatically adjusted so all you need to do is stand under the shower. There are some more…informal clothes in the dresser and pajamas so that you can get comfortable if you want.”

Thor smiled gently at her. “I might use these comforts you so thoughtfully prepared for me, later. But first I’d like to see my brother.”

“Yes, naturally.” Pepper nodded. “Well, I’ll retire for the night. The SHIELD agents will remain there, outside the testing room. It was Fury’s decision. Tomorrow, first hour of the day, he wants to talk with you about the issues related to your brother.”

“I’ll be there, Lady Potts. Once again, I thank you and Tony Stark for your hospitability.” Thor gave her a smile and she took her leave.

As soon as she parted, Thor left the room and headed towards the testing room. He greeted the guards and he entered the room to see Loki sitting in the same chair where he had left him, in the exact same position he had last seen him in. He approached slowly, carefully. When he was just two steps away from Loki he realized that his chin was resting on his chest, his head deeply bowed. And then, Thor saw that Loki was asleep. Who knew when was the last time he had slept, when he had last eaten or taken a bath? Those were things that the Aesir could do without entirely but that were, nonetheless, good and changed their disposition for the better.

The tenderness in Thor’s big heart made him feel deeply moved by the sight of his exhausted brother sleeping and it triggered memories of their childhood when he went in search for Loki in the library where he studied his lessons and spells and found him sleeping over his crossed arms on the desk, an old heavy book opened by his side. Sweet, studious, little Loki, he always had a way to touch his heart then. And, apparently, he still had it now.

He knelt as quietly as he could in front of him and saw his closed lids, heard his slightly short breathing. As quiet as he tried to be, Loki startled and sat up with wide open eyes, looking around in fear.

“It’s only I, brother, it’s only I.” He said and clasped his hand over Loki’s.

Loki just shook his head slightly and straightened his back against the chair. He tried to speak but the gag was there and he took both shaking hands to it touching it as if it surprised him to find it there.

“You can’t speak, brother. I’m sorry.” Thor whispered. “Your nose bled, and your ears.” He said and put one large hand on the gag over Loki’s jaw and tilted his head up. Thor couldn’t help but notice that his brother’s face bore cuts and bruises and dried blood. His clothes were dusty and torn here and there and there was a smell that clung to his tangled dark locks and his skin, a smell that was totally unfamiliar to Thor, a smell very unlike the clean sweet smell that he always related to Loki. Even when they went on adventures when they were children and ran and played and sweated Loki didn’t smell bad. Even his sweat smelled a little bit sweet, a tinge of green apples and salt. But it was not his body that gave the strange, unpleasant smell. It was as if something or someone had rubbed it on him. It was unsettling.

“Are you still in pain, Loki? Nod if you are.” Thor hated the gag, hated that it didn’t let Loki use his greatest power, his gift for words, his eloquence.

Loki didn’t answer but to Thor’s surprise he patted a shackled hand to Thor’s head, and took a long lock of blonde hair in his fingers. He let it go and made a gesture indicating its length.

“Yours is longer, too, Loki. It’s been a long time.” He looked into Loki’s face happy that he was now looking back at him. He put a hand on Loki’s neck, massaging the tense muscles soothingly.

A single tear slid down Loki’s cheek.

To be continued…


	4. I'll stand by you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is the most patient and loving of brothers.

“When you’re standing at the crossroads  
And don’t know which path to choose  
Let me come along,  
‘cause even if you’re wrong  
I’ll stand by you”

(I’ll stand by you - The Pretenders)

 

Thor dabbed at the tears falling silently from Loki’s eyes with the hem of his cape. He noticed how his restraint powers left him weakened so his injuries pained him more and became graver. He looked around the testing room and realized the furniture was very minimal. Loki sighed and then he stood up from the chair with an arched back that denoted his physical pain. Thor allowed him to limp across the room and then Loki leaned his back against the opposite wall. He slid his back down the wall, using it as support to sit down on the floor. He then let his body fall to his side and lay there on the floor in a semi-fetal position.

Thor understood that his brother wanted to rest on the floor and that his body needed to lie down. But his position was stiff and his multiple injuries made him feel the hardness of the floor under him as if it were prodding into his flesh. He moaned a little in his discomfort but opened his eyes to glance at Thor and then nodded as if saying “It’s alright, you can go now”. Thor wouldn’t leave Loki there. He was assigned a room with a proper bed and a bathroom. So, he decided, he would take his brother there and provide him with as much comfort as possible.

“Come here, brother.” Thor knelt and easily picked Loki up from the floor.

Loki felt Thor took him in his arms, Thor’s left forearm under his bent knees. Loki’s head leaned helplessly against Thor’s shoulder, his tied hands fell to his lap and Thor’s strong right arm was firmly holding him around his back. The guards observed warily as the blonde god took the prisoner out of the testing room. They watched him as he carried the slender dark haired prisoner whose extremely long legs dangled gingerly from Thor’s grip.

Loki looked up at Thor with questioning eyes.”It’s alright, brother. I’m taking you to my chambers so that you can sleep on a proper bed.” Thor opened the door with his knee and entered, letting it close itself after them.

Loki thought it was not a good idea. The others, his midgardian pets, would object to it. He knew it was a matter of minutes for them to come and take him back to the other room or maybe to a cell. Thor would object but he liked these stupid mortals and would not put the pity he felt for one that was an spurious brother before the safety and approval of his friends.

Thor lowered him and helped him sit on an armchair. There was a sigh trapped deep in Loki’s chest and it released itself as he felt the comfort of the soft back and seat of the chair.

Thor opened the clasp of the pauldron on Loki’s shoulder. Loki looked at him frowning, what was he doing, he tried to ask, he tried to protest.

“I’m going to try to clean you up and make you comfortable. That’s all I want.” Thor reassured him. “I’ll keep these for you.” Thor showed him the gauntlets he had taken off Loki’s forearms.

He touched Loki’s shoulder , it had been covered by the removed pauldron and he noticed a swollen lump where Loki’s shoulder met his chest. The left pauldron was somewhere in Stark’s lounge. It must have come off during their fight, Thor thought. He continued taking off the rerebraces, couteres, and vambraces from Loki’s arms. Loki’s arms felt tense even under the thick leather of his coat.

Then, Thor put his arms around Loki to open the clasps that kept the breast plate and the thin plackart closed at Loki’s flanks. He lifted them up Loki’s head and placed them on a corner, next to the armchair. He couldn’t remove Loki’s coat and long vest because of the chains and shackles so he knelt in front of Loki and when he tried to lift Loki’s leg to pull off his left boot he received a kick on the belly, it was not even painful, Loki was very weak to really kick hard. Thor looked up and saw Loki shaking his head; he didn’t want him to take off his boot.

“It’s only so that you can rest more comfortably.” Thor said soothingly and gently pushed Loki’s right foot down. 

He pulled on the left boot off and Loki groaned , arching his back, his hands convulsively clutching the arms of the chair. Even muffled by the gag Thor could hear the groan was one of pure pain.

“What’s wrong?” he mumbled and inspected Loki’s leg, touching it lightly, afraid of hurting him more and when he got near his slender ankle he could feel it swollen and twisted. “I’m sorry, brother. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He knew the right leg would not be as hurt as the left one since Loki had been able to kick with it. Still he was very careful when he took the other boot off.

Loki sighed and rested his head on the back of the chair. Thor walked into the bathroom and took a towel, placed it under the faucet and soaked it in hot water. He went back to Loki and knelt again before him. When Loki looked up at him he could see Thor’s eyes reddened and brimming with tears. Such sentiment, Loki thought, if it only were real.

“Let me clean your face.” Thor whispered and started softly dabbing at the cuts and bruises on Loki’s face and neck, all the time looking intently with sorrowful cerulean eyes into Loki’s. Loki couldn’t take it for long and he closed his eyes, allowing Thor to do what he wanted. It was surprising that such large, strong hands could be so gentle. Thor came and went to soak the towel in the hot water as it cooled off.

When he was satisfied, he knelt in front of Loki and told him, “Can you walk to the bed on your own? It’s just a step away.”

Loki nodded and Thor helped him up on his feet. He limped to the bed and sat there, his eyes on the floor again, his shackled hands on his lap.

Thor didn’t say anything but took both his legs and lifted them every so carefully on top of the bed making Loki’s body turn so that he was sitting with his long legs stretched out on the mattress. Then, without even asking for Loki’s permission he embraced him and pulled his body down the mattress so that he was laying face up on the bed. “Try to sleep now, Loki.” He whispered sadly.

Loki was disconcerted, angry, humiliated but grateful at the same time. The bed was firm but not hard and it was comforting. Thor had moved away from him and when he turned to see where he had gone, he realized that Thor had pushed the armchair next to the bed and he was sitting close to him. Loki felt the exhaustion collect inside him and finally, he let sleep claim him as it had not done in a long time.

When both Jarvis and the guards warned the avengers of Thor’s actions they got alarmed. But as they saw time pass and nothing happened they decided to find out without making any kind of a fuss. Tony Stark, the host, would go and see how his Asgardian guest was doing, and he would ask him why he had removed a dangerous war criminal from the place assigned for his temporary custody.

Tony opened the door and was about to say something witty at Thor when he saw Loki laying on the bed, still as a corpse and also as pale; and Thor sitting on an armchair next to him, his strong left hand over Loki’s that rested on the villain’s belly. Thor’s face covered by his right hand as he wept silently.

Tony stepped back and closed the door behind him. Two days, they could allow Thor to keep his brother in that room for two days.

To be continued…


	5. Rise above this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night and morning before their departure to Asgard.

“Take the light and darken everything around me  
Call the clouds and listen closely I’m lost without you  
Call your name every day when I feel so helpless  
I’m fallen down but I’ll rise above this, rise above this.”

-From Rise above this lyrics (Seether)

 

Thor didn’t even move from his seat through the night. He just slumped there in the armchair dozing off but not letting himself fall into deep sleep. The disembodied voice of Jarvis announced him that breakfast was ready. Thor refused to leave Loki’s side so when they realized he was not going to the dining room, Pepper went down to his room.

“Thor, we’re waiting for you in the dining room.” Her eyes fixed on the still figure of Loki who was gingerly sleeping on his left side under the covers.

“I don’t want to leave him alone…” Thor whispered. “He’s under my custody.”

“We have SHIELD agents to keep an eye on him. And you said the restraints don’t allow him to do much or to escape.”

“Lady Pepper, I’m really grateful for all your kindness, but I insist that I don’t need any sustenance.” He smiled gently at her.

“But we would like to have your company.” She responded with an equally gentle smile. Thor was not happy to leave but he couldn’t be rude to Pepper who was so sweet.

“Fine, Lady Pepper.” He sighed, “I’ll go with you.”

“We have excellent coffee.” She commented. “Dr. Selvig told us you enjoy coffee a lot.”

“I do, Lady Potts.” Thor followed her after pulling the covers up over Loki. Pepper couldn’t help but think it was touching the way in which Thor tried to make his brother comfortable.

“Did you rest a little?” Pepper asked him.

“I closed my eyes for a while.” Thor replied as they headed to the dining room.

“Is your brother alright?” Pepper asks with true concern for Thor.

“No, I don’t think he will ever be alright again.” Thor replied heartbrokenly, “ But, as it is, his body will heal slowly. He’s exhausted. We don’t know what happened to him after I first came here.”

When they got to the dining room, Thor saw his new friends talking in an amiable way. They all greeted him and he took a seat next to Pepper and Tony.

“How is it going, Point Break?” Tony patted him on the shoulder.

“Fine, friend, fine.” He took a sip of his coffee and smiled at the fabulous taste. “This is even better than the one I’d tasted before.”

“It’s Colombian, of the finest.” Tony informs him, “It’s a country to the south.” He clarifies.

“Trade in Midgard seems to be thriving.” Thor remarked.

“Not as much as it should.” Pepper points out. “We have rather grave economical problems.”

“I’m sorry. Maybe we could contribute to its improvement by taking care of the safety of the population.” Thor points out and Steve nods at this chewing quickly on the bite of waffles he had just taken.

“Yes, when the basic need of safety is covered, people can devote themselves to work and commerce.” Steve says earnestly.

“In an ideal world, Cap, in an ideal world.” Tony frowns at Steve and Thor’s innocence.“Sometimes the threat comes from outside, but most of the times the threat comes from among us; it comes from humans and human organizations that endanger the world more often than not.”

“I agree.” Natasha nods and takes a sip of orange juice. “We should be prepared for both kinds of dangers. To keep citizens of any country safe no matter the source of the threat but keeping in mind that humans are the most dangerous species for other humans.”

Clint was looking at them talk with a hint of impatience on his face. When they paused he took the floor, “When is Fury coming to give us directions? He has not sent me any notice.”

“He said he would be here by midday.” Tony replied. “So, we still have time to enjoy a stress free breakfast, Legolas.” Tony answered pointedly at Barton.

“Has it the place where the prisoner will be kept established? “ Clint, like a dog with a bone.

“I said stress free…” Tony sighed and took a sip of his latte.

“I think they will surely have thought of the kind of court and trial he will have to face by now.” Clint stubbornly speculated.

“An international court, I suppose.” Steve looked at Barton, “He attacked two countries and his plans where to take over the whole planet…”

“This was supposed to be a friendly, informal breakfast among friends!” Tony pouted staring sadly at his cup.

“I worry about that…” Bruce said ignoring Tony like the rest.” He’s in pretty bad shape and an international court might wonder why a war prisoner was treated like that.”

“Well, the damage was done before he surrendered, not after.” Steve reassured Bruce. “It’s considered a violation of rights only if you keep attacking after the opponent has given up.”

“Tell me, my midgardian friends, how can my brother face justice if he can face a jury formed by his peers?”Thor asked sounding genuinely curious.”I’ve learned that every defendant has the right of having a defense attorney, this attorney that has to be his peer, as well. But it happens that Loki is not a midgardian, so the jury, the prosecutor, or the defense attorney wouldn’t be his peers if judged here.”

“You could speak for him…since you’re able to excuse his madness and his criminal behavior…” Clint spits at Thor scornfully. “You’re so eager to cover his ass you’d do a good job.”

Thor frowns and glares at Barton. “I’m just saying that we are not peers. It wouldn’t be fair…”

“So, you two feel so superior…” Clint burst out.

“No!”Thor protested, “I never said that, archer! I mean…we are not midgardians…!”Thor was about to stand up from his chair.

“Cut it, Barton!” Natasha puts a hand over Clint’s on the table. “Thor never said they are better than us. He’s just airing some valid questions. And then he would not be able to legally represent his brother on trial since, even if they were from here, they are brothers, there’s a conflict of interests there.”

“Let’s wait for Fury to get all upset and yell at each other, right?” Tony sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. “As your gracious host I bid you all to have your goddamn breakfast without any more quibbling!”

But the slight ease they had managed to achieve was broken. They all turned to look at Tony and by the deep frown on his brow they realized he was not kidding. Steve nodded as if he had just received an order from his commander and devoted himself to eat his waffles chewing carefully, Natasha inspected her fruit salad with her fork, Clint took big angry bites from his bagel, Bruce dipped into his cereal, Thor took sips of his extremely hot and sweet coffee and Tony cut his huevos rancheros with a knife and fork with eyes fixed on all of them. Steve and Bruce’s attempts for casual conversation ended awkwardly. Pepper couldn’t help but find it all really amusing.

As soon as they finished Thor took his leave after politely asking for permission. He felt the need to be with Loki at that time, knowing he was very weak and had been sleeping unaware he was alone. He rushed through the hallways and when he got to the room Tony had assigned them he found Loki still lying on his side and under the blanket he had strewn over him. Loki was not in deep sleep so he awakened as soon as he felt Thor’s presence in the room. He opened his weary eyes and sat up.

“Brother, I’m going to brush your hair.” Thor thought Loki had to be neat, he couldn’t spare him the humiliation of being a prisoner, but he could lessen it by keeping an appearance of dignity for him. He took the brush and marveled at the clear material it was made of. He carefully brushed Loki’s hair, minding not to pull any knot he might find. “I’m sorry, Loki.” He said as Loki let his head drop forward; “I just don’t want to hurt you.” he referred to the brushing and to all the things that had happened in the last few years.

“When I went back to Asgard…after the banishment, it was all so confusing; Sif and the warriors three came to Midgard and told me what had been happening with father and you. I thought I had to stop you, that something had happened to you that had made you behave in such a way. Before that you had come and lied to me, Loki, you told me father was dead. I know it’s unfair of me to talk to you about all these things now that you can’t speak. When we are in Asgard and this muzzle is taken off you I want to hear what you have to say about it all. You have the right to explain your actions….”Thor put the brush down and knelt in front of Loki searching for his face, trying to look into his eyes. He placed a hand on each of Loki’s knees squeezing lightly in reassurance.

“This is not coming as I wanted it. I don’t want to distress you anymore. What I really want to say is that when I got to our father’s chambers,” at this Loki glared at Thor but he remained there, looking into Loki’s eyes, warm hands on his knees. “OUR father’s chambers,” Thor repeated, “You were there and mother was there and you’ve just killed Laufey. You told me you had to go destroy Jotunheim and shot me out of the palace. I didn’t know anything of what had happened to you while I was banished. All you said didn’t make sense to me. When you said you were not my brother I thought you had lost your mind. And then, before we fought you told me you never wanted the throne, that all you wanted was to be my equal. That, Loki, I knew, I knew you would never betray me or Father for power, I knew you were not coveting it…What I didn’t realize is how much I had damaged you through the years, since we were children. I am responsible of that feeling of not being my equal. I do understand what I did to make you feel underappreciated and diminished. I regret every attitude and every word I said that made think we weren’t equals, every careless thing I did that hurt you.” Thor’s voice is passionately earnest and a little strained with tears, “ Loki, look at me. You are precious to me and I need you. We are equals but we are different because we complement each other. I can’t be great without you.” He took Loki’s hands in his and kissed them.

“It breaks my heart to see you like this. I’m distraught at seeing you so different from _my_ Loki, my sweet, sensible and sensitive little brother. It kills me to see you so broken.” He reached for Loki’s nape with his hand and he placed it there caressing Loki’s neck lightly with his fingers. “ You were weeping when we fought, I hit you and you hit me but what I wanted to do was to shake you and then embrace you and ask you what was wrong and how could I ease your pain. All these words… I don’t know if you believe me. You know I’m not the eloquent one here. I just can say that I love you more than anything in the nine realms, my sweet, dear brother. I will never let you down again. I won’t fail to protect you this time.”

Loki eyes were fixed on Thor’s and there were full of sadness. He shook his head and looked away from Thor frowning.

“Thor Odinson,” Jarvis called, “Director Fury would like to speak to you in Mr. Stark’s office.”

tbc


	6. Stand my ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is resolute, Fury is wary, Loki is angry and Steve is impressed.

 

“No I’ll stand my ground, won’t be turned around  
And I’ll keep this world from draggin me down  
gonna stand my ground  
… and I won’t back down.”

-Tom Petty and the heartbreakers

 

Thor stood up and took Loki’s head in his hands planting a long heartfelt kiss on his brother’s forehead.

“I’ll be back, brother. Try to rest.” He gave one last stroke to his hair and to such a tender gesture, Loki responded kicking Thor hard on the chin. But Loki’s strength was diminished so to Thor this little display, this trying to play the villain, felt as nothing. He just frowned at him.

“Don’t be mean to me, Loki. It’s useless. Kick me all you want, I’ll still love you when you’re done.” He closed the door behind him and headed for Stark’s office.

He stood in front of the door knowing what they would tell him and sure about what he would tell them: He had come to Midgard to take Loki back home where he, sadly for Thor, would have to face Asgardian justice and the anger of his father.

He would stand his ground before these people he had grown to respect and appreciate. But if they proved contrary to him and his resolve, he would not hesitate to grab Loki and the Teseract by any means necessary and without any further discussion he would go back to Asgard.

“Thor, please, come in.” a husky and soft female voice called and he looked down to see Natasha’s face behind the opening door. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

There were all the Avengers sitting around the table. Fury preceded the meeting to the far left end of the room. “Join us, Mr. Odinson.” He gestured for Thor to take the seat on the opposite end of the table.

 

“I know why I was summoned here, Director Fury.” He bows politely to all the ones present, “But first, let me thank you for giving me the opportunity to fight alongside you in the defense of Midgard. I am nothing but humbled and grateful to have new allies and friends in you.” He smiled regally and continued, “And I know I’ll be as grateful for the assistance you will provide for our departure to Asgard.” He declared quite solemnly.

 

“Our?” Clint asked raising an eyebrow.

 

Thor turned sharply to look at him. “Yes, archer, ours, mine and my brother’s departure.” He emphasized.

 

“We wanted to discuss that precisely.” Fury looks pointedly at Clint. “Let us explain to you what our justice would demand for your brother’s punishment. And you can compare what he would face here to what he would face in Asgard and consider both options. We would insist you should allow us to keep him here, restrained, to face a process.”

 

“That’s out of the question, Director Fury. I came to take him back home and I will.” Thor didn’t even blink while saying this.

 

“ Thor, listen to me.” Fury raised a hand to make silence when Barton and Steve opened their mouths as if to speak. “I’m under pressure from several instances to keep Loki here so that he can face our justice. And after the trial he would have to face imprisonment in the special facilities SHIELD has for criminals of his nature. His imprisonment would be humane but severe and we are designing a rehabilitation program especially for him.”

 

“I’m listening, Fury. But whether you want it or not, I’ll take Loki to Asgard with me. With all due respect, your trial, your sentence and your prison are inappropriate for an Asgardian.” Thor would not falter on his resolve.

 

“International law forbids it, he came to mess with us, we have the right to judge him here.” Clint interjected, his eyes fixed on Thor.

 

“International you say, that means the treaties you have are among the nations in THIS realm, Midgard or Earth, as you call it. I’m absolutely sure that does not include the other 8 realms. There’s no agreement, no law that bind us to obey you. I’m really sorry to contradict you, archer.” Thor replied calm and solemn.

 

“Let us explain to you what your brother would face if he stayed on earth and had to deal with our justice.” Fury started. “ Then you can consider both options, Asgard and Earth. We would insist you should allow us to keep him here, restrained and powerless as he is, to face his trial.”

“I’m listening, Director Fury,” Thor interrupted him. “But that is not going to happen, I won’t even consider any other option but mine. With all due respect, I wouldn’t like to do so, but if you try to stop me, if you hinder our return, I will, regretfully, fight you. And you’ll lose.” Thor replied looking at Fury.

 

“There’s must be something we can do to stop this from happening. After all the damage he’s done this wouldn’t be fair. I don’t know if Thor is aware of it or if it makes any sense to him but the damage done to New York exceeds the 160 billion dollars; there were 945 civilians injured, 80 dead and between 30 to 40 SHIELD agents still missing. Plus, he kidnapped and manipulated Selvig, 20 other agents and myself.” Clint pleads to Fury.

 

“I think the latter is what you care about the most. You want your personal satisfaction and are using all the damage and destruction as a justification for your thirst of retaliation, for your anger at the abuse you personally suffered. _You_ need compensation, but you don’t want to sound selfish…though, you are. Your need for revenge is so petty, it’s really below you.” Thor stood up and crossed his arms looking down on Barton. 

 

Clint did the same, springing to his feet. “You’re always looking down on us…” Barton began.

 

“Guys…hey, guys…” Tony tried to interrupt them.

 

“That’s because some humans, like you, are so incredibly tiny.” Thor retorted arrogantly.

 

Barton kicked his chair and sent it clattering behind him. Thor didn’t move but uncrossed his arms and took a slightly menacing stance. Clint took out his bow and arrow from somewhere and pointed them at Thor who chuckled scornfully incensing Barton all the more.

 

“That is a very sophisticated form of negotiation, agent.” Thor said full of irony. “But really totally futile.” He crossed his arms again and stared at Barton.

 

“Clint, Thor, cut it!” Steve told them about to stand up himself.

 

“I don’t understand why you just don’t leave that insane, evil, megalomaniac son of a bitch here!” Clint was still aiming at Thor.

 

“It shows, Barton, that you don’t know how it is to be a good brother. You offend mine with your coarse language but you are the one truly disgracing yourself and your ancestors with that foul mouth of yours, you petty dwarf!” Thor’s voice thundered through the room.

 

Clint stomped his feet and strung out his bow ready to shoot Thor. Steve and Tony, knowing how useless Clint’s actions were, got ready to contain him.

 

“Agent Barton, get the hell out of here!” Fury yelled crossing his arms in an exasperated gesture.

 

Natasha had placed a hand on Thor’s powerful arm and if to prevent him from harming Barton. Thor noticed it and took the small delicate hand in his as Barton stormed out of the room.

 

“Lady Natasha, dear warrior maiden, I would never harm your friend… if not with my words. I do apologize for my outburst.” He kissed Natasha’s hand. “When his anger subsides I’ll apologize to our brave archer.”

 

“You must try to understand he’s gone through difficult things and your brother did harm him by playing with his mind and using him. It was a kidnapping.” Natasha said taking her seat again.

 

“ I’m not trying to make excuses for my brother’s behavior. I know what he did and how many people suffer as a consequence of his actions. It shames me and it fills me with pain to witness my brother’s fall from grace.” Thor explained to them.

 

“What would Asgardian justice have in store for your brother, Thor?” Steve asked reasonably.

 

Fury grunted and said “Don’t encourage him, Captain.”

 

“Director Fury, we are asking Thor to consider what we would give his brother as punishment but we have not heard about what awaits him in Asgard. We should also listen and consider the possibilities.” Steve replied.

 

“Alright, let’s hear it, Thor.” Fury nods.

 

“As far as I know the cell my father has prepared for him in Asgard is the safest place in the 9 realms and Loki would be devoid of his powers without any chance of recovering them. My father will make sure he’s controlled and isolated. He won’t ever be able to escape, no one has ever escaped my father’s dungeons.” Thor says almost regretfully. “Can you guarantee Loki won’t manage to escape your prison?”

 

“He’s right.”Bruce put in. “Loki single handedly managed to kidnap several SHIELD agents, upset the functioning of SHIELD’s headquarters, almost bring down the helicarrier and bring an alien army to New York. If that tells us something about him is that he is incredibly clever, resourceful and crafty. I have no doubt he would be able to escape our prison. WE are not really sure we will be able to keep him in place. Just like the Teseract, it would be an immense danger to keep him here. Let’s give him back to where he belongs and to where they have the means to control him.”

 

“Plus, I do believe Thor would give us big trouble if we don’t play along with him and let him take his reindeer games home. And we don’t want him to stop being part of the gang, do we?” Tony added with a lopsided smile on his face.

 

“Can we afford to lose the only avenger who can control the Hulk or at least keep him busy without getting smashed like a fly?” Natasha added.

 

Fury remained frowning and silent armed crossed for some minutes before saying. “Ok, you can take him to Asgard. I’ll deal with the council.” Fury sighs.

 

“Thor, would you really stop working with the avengers in the protection of earth if we tried to keep Loki?” Natasha asked him looking at Thor’s impossibly blue eyes.

 

“It would make it impossible for me to continue with you all.” Thor replied, “But now that we agreed, you can count on me. We’re still together.”

 

“What time will you depart?” Fury asked Thor.

 

“ In the morning, before midday.” Thor replies with conviction.

 

Steve and Natasha left the room while Tony, Fury and Bruce stayed discussing the container for the Tesseract.

 

Natasha was walking down the hallway, ready to go for his next assignment given to her by Fury just a little while before. Clint caught up with her and stopped her on her tracks.

 

“How did it end?” Clint asks her, he’s still mad and it makes him look gaunt and pale.

 

“They are going back to Asgard, Clint. Maybe it’s for the best.” Natasha tried to comfort him. “I’ve been summoned. We can talk about it later, if you want. Meanwhile, don’t take it personal.”

 

With this she left him and he was incensed. Clint was seeing red. “Don’t take it personal.” It was personal. He headed towards Thor’s room. If proper justice was not to be obtained for all those hurt and killed and for all the destruction made by Loki, he would take his own justice with his very own hands.

 

tbc


	7. There's gonna be an accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is mad Loki is going to Asgard. For him Asgardian justice means Loki will get his wrist slapped and have dinner with his folks afterwards.

 

“Someone call the ambulance..There’s gonna be an accident.”

-Infrared (Placebo)

Clint waited until the shapely figure of Natasha disappeared as she entered the elevator. Then, he used his status as a SHIELD senior agent to make the guards allow him to get into Thor’s room where Loki was being kept. The guards didn’t even ask him why he would want to get in. He was trusted and respected by everyone in SHIELD.

Loki was sitting on an armchair and dozing, muzzled and shackled. Someone had wiped his face clean of the dust and blood from the battle and untangled his hair. As soon as he felt Clint’s presence in the room his green blue eyes snapped open and he straightened his back on the chair.

“So, I see you get the VIP treatment here! You’re allowed to sleep on a bed and rest on your comfy chair while hundreds of people suffer because of you.” Clint spat.

“Oh! You cannot make me go away or scream for the guards to come, can you?” He pointed at the muzzle and at Loki’s furious eyes on him.

“How does it feel? Is it easy to be devoid of your individual freedom? To be taken from place to place by another person? To be forced to do and go where you don’t want to?” Clint stepped closer to Loki and slapped the side of his face, above the muzzle just before Loki could lift his shackled hands and try to cover his face with his arms.

“How does it feel to be a powerless puppet?” Clint lifted Loki from the lapels of his long coat.

Loki pushed with his shackled arms trying to get rid of Barton who took him by the forearms and pushed him against the wall to pummel him all over the chest and stomach. 

Loki doubled over and moaned in pain. Barton clasped Loki’s forearms in his hand and closed the other hand on Loki’s throat below the muzzle. He pressed Loki’s trachea and the trickster shook his head violently attempting to get rid of Clint’s hold.

Barton’s knee hit Loki in the stomach and groin over and over. When his hold on Loki’s throat began to work and Loki’s eyes rolled back as he fought for air, Clint was suddenly pulled away from him by two strong hands that pushed him to the side.

As Steve managed to make Clint let go, Loki leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor in a wheezing heap. He stepped between Clint and Loki placing his hands on Clint’s shoulders.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Steve shook Barton as he still tried to go back and continue hitting Loki.

“You were supposed to be with Fury and Thor…” Clint growls.

“We’ve finished our discussion and when I saw you open the door to this room I knew you were about to do something really stupid.” He replied. “Thor will be here anytime…” Steve looked at Clint straight in the eye.

“This was my last chance to make him feel some real justice.” Clint shot a venomous look at Loki from behind Steve´s shoulder.

“This is not justice it’s retaliation!” Steve still held him by the forearms and looked at him with pleading eyes. As Clint’s arms relaxed he let go of him and Clint went to the armchair and dropped down on it, his head between his hands, elbows on his knees.

Steve knelt next to Loki and placed a hand on his shoulder. He noticed some blood trickling down his nose. He quickly wiped it away with the hem of his sleeve.

“Loki, don’t hold it against Barton. Don’t make Thor notice this, don’t make things more difficult than they already are.” He looked into Loki’s eyes trying to make him understand.

Loki wanted to block him out so he pulled his knees closer to his chest and embraced his legs hiding his face between his arms.

“Let me help you up, Loki.” Steve offered. Loki just hugged his legs tighter.

“Barton, we need to hide this from Thor.” Just as he stepped closer to Clint, Thor opened the door.

Thor’s eyes turned quickly from Clint and Steve to Loki who didn’t even lift his head. Thor stormed past the SHIELD agent and the captain and lifted Loki by the armpits.

“Brother…what happened?” he whispered as he guided Loki to the bed, then, he turned to Steve and Clint to glare at them as he breathed heavily trying to control his temper.

“In Asgard we never kick our enemies when they are down.” He said through clenched teeth. “Who did this to you?” Thor took Loki by the shoulders and asked. “Both of them?” Loki shook his head and used his bound hands to point at Clint. “Was it the archer?” Loki nodded.

“Captain, friend Steve, would you leave us alone?” Thor requested politely but his voice was strained with anger.

“I won’t, Thor, I’m sorry.”Steve replied, “I came to stop Clint from doing any unnecessary harm or violence, I’m not leaving you two alone to continue fighting.”

“Do you take me for a ruffian, Steve?” Thor lifted his eyebrows half challenging, half surprised. “You can stay if you want. I just want to have a word with the archer and I want to question him for this particular deed. I can do that with both you and my brother present.” Thor stands closer to them, towering over Barton who was still sitting on the armchair.

“Did you think I wanted to hit agent Barton, Steve? Do you think I’m a bully? I’m aware my strength is far superior than yours, archer,” he surprisingly knelt before Clint so that he could look at him in the eye, Steve stepped aside and looked at Thor’s attitude in surprise.

“I wouldn’t touch a hair on your head, Clint Barton, since it would be an uneven fight. It wouldn’t even be a fight; you know I could easily kill you. It would be dishonorable and unfair for me. I’m so disappointed, my friend. You know that just as my strength is superior to yours, Loki is powerless and weakened due to the restraints he’s wearing. And even so there was not enough nobility in your heart to leave him alone, to allow me to take him unharmed to Asgard where he’ll face a difficult trial and a sentence that will surely be worse than we can imagine.” Thor’s eyes glistened with tears as he turned his face to look at Loki. “I have admiration and respect for you, and you are a friend to me but these noble feelings are not mutual.”

“Thor, no, I do appreciate you and consider you my friend.” Clint places a hand on Thor’s shoulder.

“I understand the hate and resentment you feel for my brother. He deserves them for what he did to you. You don’t have to like him or have any fondness for him. But you should have remembered that I do love him and if you hurt him, you hurt me, the one you’ve called your friend.” Thor stood up, shaking off Clint’s hand from his shoulder and went to stand next to Loki.

“I’m sorry.”Clint finally mutters after an awkward silence. “I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t even consider you’d be hurt by my behavior, Thor. I was just full of wrath. I’m ashamed of myself and my lack of control. I was just so mad.”

“I have made mistakes, more than once in my long life, due to my temper. I can’t forget you’re a friend and we’ve just fought side by side.” Thor steps forward offering Clint a large warm hand to shake.

“Offer Loki and apology.” Steve appealed to Clint who turned sharply to glare at him.

“No!” Clint mouthed.

“For Thor’s sake.” Steve insisted and crossed his arms.”It will also serve to tame your pride.”

Thor looked at Steve about to stop Clint but Steve shook his head. “It will be good for him. We should not take any of the things we do to protect others as personal. Loki is not our enemy, he is just someone who caused us a terrible problem we managed to control. Clint, you must also forgive him. Let all this anger go.”

“Well…” Clint grunted and stepped toward Loki who was still sitting on the bed. “I shouldn’t have hit you. It was a mistake. I forgive you for…” As he was saying Loki quickly leaned back on the bed and lifted his legs to kick Clint hard on the groin.

Clint doubled over and panted in pain as he fell to his knees in front of Loki who managed to connect another kick to Clint’s jaw before Thor could stop him.

Steve pulled Clint away from Loki’s reach.

“Great idea, Cap.” Clint moaned in pain.

Thor just stood next to Loki a hand on his shoulder and stared at Loki’s eyes who stared back, no words. In Thor’s eyes there was reproach, in Loki’s eyes wicked defiance.

“Apologizing to Loki is painful…but I never knew how much. Steve, now I feel much better and will never have children…” He limped his way out of the room supporting himself on Steve’s arm.

“Loki is not in his right mind.” Steve whispered as they left the room.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Clint frowned and offered him a lopsided smile. “Are you always this goody-two-shoes, Steve?” He asked as they walked down the hallway.

 

tbc


	8. Going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is afraid and Thor resolve is to protect him, even from Loki himself.

Disclaimer in part 1

As Steve and Clint left the room, Thor pushed Loki back on the bed. Loki sat there allowing Thor to check on him and fret about him. It seemed stupid to Loki to have his brother trying to heal his battle wounds. Clint had hit him hard and Loki had got new bruises over the old ones. When Thor put his hand under his jaw, over the muzzle, Loki shook his head violently, trying t make it impossible for Thor to clean the blood over his upper lip and his brow.

“Why are you being this childish, Loki?” Thor sighed and placed both hands on his cheeks and the metal of the muzzle forcing him to look at him.

Loki’s eyes stared back challenging but Thor’s resolve and love made him falter and look down as if ashamed of himself for being rough to his brother when he was muzzled and in chains. Loki kept still as Thor cleaned his face with a damp towel and combed his hair.

“I’m afraid we are going back to Asgard in a few hours.” Thor announced Loki. “I wish I could give you some sustenance.”

Loki looked up at him lifting an eyebrow and then snorting through the muzzle.

“I’m sorry for having left you alone. I had to discuss something with the Midgardians.” Thor explained softly combing Loki’s hair.

“It’s all knotted and not at all clean.” He observes, “I remember how it was always so silky and shiny, like the feathers of a raven, almost blue in its darkness.” He pats at Loki’s head with his warm large palm affectionately.

“I should have helped you take a shower. The baths in Midgard are as functional as they are in Asgard, though not as comfortable. Now we don’t have time for that, not even to wash your hair. When we get home, I’ll do it for you.”

Loki shook his head and snorted again grunting in an attempt to convey scorn or irony.

“What? Do you think I won’t do it?” Thor sat next to Loki and passed and arm around his shoulders.

“I’m sure you won’t immediately have your trial. You’ll have to be healed first. And then you will await your trial, you’ll be given the time to prepare your defense. I asked father to let you remain in my custody. I’ll keep you with me.” Thor spoke in a hopeful, almost dreamy tone that made Loki’s eyes brim with tears he tried to fight by stiffening his whole frame in fake rejection of Thor’s embrace.

“Once I get you home, I’ll prepare you a bath with aromatic salts and the oils you like. We’ll wash your hair and the healers will set your bones and dress your wounds. I’ll make sure you have those comfortable trousers and tunics you like to wear while at home and your softest night shirts. You’ll sleep on a proper bed there, in my room. I’ll give you all the sweets you love so much and those finicky treats you favor. But, that hideous muzzle will be taken off first and then, after you eat, you’ll talk to me.”

Loki pulled away from him just to attempt for a glare with red rimmed eyes.

“Please!! No, brother! I’m sorry if I said anything that hurt you!” Thor placed his arm firmly around Loki’s shoulder looking into his eyes.

Loki would not be reduced to this, to a sentimental creature craving for everything Thor had just offered. He had been humiliated enough already. He was thinking he could not get rid of Thor’s arm around him though his whole body wanted to melt into that embrace. He stiffened his back and shoulders and pulled away eventhough Thor’s hand was on his shoulder and he would not let go.

“Thor,” a voice from the outside the door made the blond god looked up with concerned cerulean eyes.

“It’s time.”It was the woman, the red-haired warrior. Thor stood up to open the door.

“Is it all set?” She asked glimpsing at Loki who sat still on the bed.

“Yes, Lady Natasha, I think we’re ready to head to the departure spot.” Thor replied with his back to Loki.

“Are you sure he can’t withdraw those restraints? Those chains seem frail.” She eyed Loki with an expression that combined objective interest and scorn.

Loki mustered all the energy he had to glare at the red haired woman. He tried to snarl at her but his throat closed and it came out as a muffled grunt, not menacing at all. When Thor turned his back to her, Natasha smiled derisively at Loki. He looked away trying to ignore her.

“Absolutely sure.” Thor replied turning to look at her. He then approached Loki and reached to the chains, he made as if to break them to show Natasha.”These are practically unbreakable.”

“Well, a unit of SHIELD agents will guard you to the vehicle where we’ll take you to the point of departure.”Natasha indicated. “Make sure he behaves. Don’t let him play any kind of stunt, please.” She asked with a serious expression in her face.

“Lady Natasha, he’s wounded, injured, weakened and restrained. What could he possibly do?”Thor tried to keep his voice even but he was getting angrier by the minute. “He’s under my control, fear not.”

“Ah, yes, poor thing!” Natasha exclaimed cynically as she closed the door behind her. Thor fisted his hands and grunted. Then he took a deep breath feeling his temper flare, touching the edge of his self control.

Loki was being difficult and he couldn’t even know what was wrong, other than the obvious, since he couldn’t speak. And then, Clint had come to hit Loki, Natasha taunted him and angered him. Added to that, Thor feared what awaited Loki back in Asgard.

“Let’s go, brother. It’s time to go back home.” He took Loki’s wrist gently trying to help him up. Loki snatched his wrist away and glared at Thor. He felt panic collecting in his chest.

He feared so many things; he feared the allfather, his disappointment and despise; he feared the pain edged on Frigga’s face; the satisfied sneer of the warriors three and Sif and the scorn and disgust of the commoners of Asgard.

And he also feared the promise Thanos had made. Now, they were bringing the threat of destruction back to Asgard by taking him and the Tesseract there. Loki didn´t want that for his family, for the ones he once knew as his mother and father, for his spurious younger brothers and his wretched poor child to suffer a war against those foul creatures.

A surge of panic got him frantic and he refused to stand up and walk. First, he tried passively to resist. Then, he left himself fall back on the mattress and curled up in a tight fetal position. If Thor wanted to take him to Asgard he would have to carry him.

“Loki! What’s happening? Are you in pain?” Thor placed his hand gently on Loki’s shoulder. Loki refused to look at him and curled into a tighter ball.

“Loki, why? Why are you behaving like this? Look at me!” Thor demanded trying not to raise his voice. He grunted. “Are you playing with me? If you keep behaving like this…Loki, it’ll be more humiliating if I carry you as if you were a child.”

As Thor attempted to do as he had just said Loki turned sharply on the mattress and kicked Thor on the face with both feet. For Thor it’s nothing but it got on his nerves. “Loki, I beg you, behave well!”

He took Loki’s ankles and pressed them against the mattress punctuating every word. He pulled swiftly on his legs then grabbed his waist and took him by the armpits to put him on his feet swiftly.

“Please, Loki, please.” He shook him holding him by the armpits. “I don’t want to manhandle you and humiliate you…Isn’t it bad enough for both of us that I have to take you there in chains and with your mouth muzzled? I can’t understand what you want.” He sighed impatiently. “I’ll carry you over my shoulder much to the Midgardians’ rejoice. Is that what you want?”

At Thor’s words he regained his composure and fixed his eyes on his. He inhaled deeply and his shoulders relaxed. Deep within his mind he was thinking he should fight. He followed Thor as he guided him to the door with his arm around his shoulders.

Four heavy armored SHIELD agents waited outside. They gave Thor veiled disapproving glances. How could he be so kind to a war criminal? Holding him and helping him.

As they walked out the lobby of Stark Tower, fear and pain took the best out of Loki. He felt trapped and he panicked. Thor had stepped a little ahead of him and Loki hooked the instep of his foot to the front of Thor’s when the blond god took his next step making him trip and fall on his face. Two guards took hold of Loki’s arms and the others went to Thor’s help. He didn’t need any help and stood up swiftly but thanked the agents for their intended assistance. He turned back and approached Loki , fighting anger, embarrassment and frustration.

“I’m tired of these childish absurd antics, brother. You have to and will behave.” He took Loki by the shoulders and shook him violently after looking at him in the eye. As Thor fixed his eyes on Loki’s he say the same desperate crazed expression they had before the fall, the same tears. But this time they enraged him since he thought Loki’s attitude would not gain him any indulgence if he kept behaving that way in Asgard. He was mad at him for his destructiveness, but he was furious at him for his self destructiveness.

Thor took him roughly by the arm and guided him to the vehicle. Thor was now on edge, so as Loki tried to resist entering the car he shoved him in. Loki got incensed at that, he felt the anger and humiliation collecting in his chest in the form of a pressure that hindered his breathing. The short way to the departure point Loki averted his eyes from Thor and Thor kept a hand clutching Loki’s forearm as he sat by his side.

Loki’s breathing heaved up. He looked around from time to time to then avert his eyes again as if in shame. Thor’s hand on his arm was at the same time stern and reassuring. Thor pressed evenly on Loki’s arm and Loki could feel the warmth of that hand even through the thick leather of his sleeve. Once they arrived Loki gingerly followed Thor as he all but pulled him out of the van.

“You’re going to behave as the prince you were raised to be, Loki. These Midgardians must see you are under my control, but also that you can rein yourself. Don’t add to the shame you’ve caused me and all of Asgard with your actions.” Thor said sternly feeling a knot in his throat, knowing Loki’s actions came from a disturbed mind poisoned by disappointment, loneliness and heartbreak.

As they stood next to the vehicle Loki leaned on it contrary to what Thor commanded, “Come on! Walk!” Loki crouched and looked up at Thor as if saying, “Make me.”

Thor leaned forward and grabbed his arm pulling him on his feet. Loki tried to wrench himself out of his grip. The SHIELD agents immediately got in guard when they saw the Asgardians grappling with each other.

Thor looked at Loki and took him by the armpits again, shaking him even more roughly this time. Loki’s head lashed forward and back repeatedly leaving him dizzy. The agents stepped toward them.

“Get back!” Thor shouted at them without taking his eyes from Loki’s.

“I vouched for you, Loki.”He groaned with eyes that betrayed frustration and sadness.”Act like the prince you are!”

Loki dropped his head looking down at the floor and then he just nodded slightly. He could feel Thor’s indignant rage coming out through his pores.

He walked with him, guiding him this time taking him by the arm with a tight cruel grip.

Whenever Loki faltered he just pressed harder on Loki’s bicep. Once in the departure point Thor shoved him to the center of the rune engraved circle. Loki felt his heart sink to his knees.

The archer and the redhaired warrior stood before him and sneered, mocking him and whispering to each other. Loki wanted to glare at them and he tried to but a wave of sickness and sadness took over him, he just looked at them and then looked down.

When he looked up again his eyes met Selvig’s and there was a strange look in his eyes, something close to sympathy mixed with accusation. Such a fine man, Loki thought, the kind of man who would never associate with him out of his free will.

They handed Thor the Tesseract and he gestured to Loki to take the other handle of the container.

Loki sighed inside the muzzle, this was his ultimate humiliation. Instead of being a new ruler for Midgard he was a culprit, chained and muzzled, restricted and silenced. Thor’s frown awakened a deep anguish in his soul. He felt that if Thor was not showing sympathy for him, no one else would.

The Tesseract took them to what once he had called home.

TBC


	9. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 9 Thor brings Loki to Asgard. Balder appears...things and feelings get even more complicated.

Aftermath

  
Chapter 9

  
_“Hey, you pale and sickly child,_   
_You’re death and living reconciled_   
_Been walking home a crooked mile_ _"_   
_(Dream on-Depeche Mode)_

 

Travelling with the energy of the Tesseract was not as travelling through the Bifrost or using dark energy and magic. It is faster and more violent and taxing to the body. Thor landed on his feet holding fast to the handle of the container but Loki had not so much luck and his hand was around the handle as firm as Thor’s but he had fallen on his side and the chains around his ankles made it difficult for him to stand up. He tried to scramble to his feet and he fell twice until Thor closed his hand around his arm and lifted him up.

“Are you fine, brother?” Thor asked and waited for Loki to nod which Loki did as he silently battled a wave of nausea. “We’re home, Loki, home!” Thor said as he pulled Loki through the frontal gardens of Odin’s golden palace. Loki could not help but look with nostalgia at the beauty of the great building that had seen him grow up. Memories flooded his mind, old ones, good ones, bad ones, and devastatingly sad ones.

A large group of heavily armored guards approached them running. They greeted Thor with the usual bow and fist to the heart and then a tall before a tall and slender figure made way among them. He was dressed in dark plum coloured finery and silver armour and as he took his helmet off he was walking towards Thor.

“My Lord and brother, ”Balder said as his heavy mantle of straight copper hair shone silky and metallic over his shoulders once freed from his helmet.

Balder looked boyish still, recently out of adolescence and his smile was sweet and open. He threw his arms around Thor, almost childlike, and Loki stared blankly at the two, Thor hugged him affectionately and patted the back of his head. When Balder looked at Loki from behind Thor's shoulder Loki rolled his eyes but Balder patted Thor’s back and let go of him and then he stood before Loki for some seconds, a sweet smile on his rose petal lips before pulling him into an embrace. Loki stiffened his whole body but Balder held him in happiness as if his affection were corresponded.

“I’m also glad to see you, Loki, my brother.” Some of the guards gasped at the display of affection to the culprit. Loki closed his eyes and flinched as if Balder’s touch burned him.

“I came to escort you to the throne room, to the allfather’s presence.” Balder said with his youthful and soothing voice.

Thor nodded and reached to take Loki by the arm. Balder placed a hand on Thor’s arm and looked at Loki and then back at Thor with huge blue sad eyes, “Loki, my brother, you will go with the guards. You’ll be called to the throne room later, I think.”

Thor frowned at Balder and didn’t let go of Loki’s arm. “Balder, where are they taking him?”He asked the young god.

“To his place of confinement.” Balder replied softly, as if it were a shameful confession and then he smiled at Thor, “But it’s a room within your very own chambers we have prepared for him. Who could guard Loki better than you, Thor?”

  
“Within my bedchambers?” Thor kept his hand around Loki’s wrist. “So, will our brother be under my total custody?”

“Yes, my liege.”Balder replied honestly, “That is what father wants to discuss with you.”

“Could I take him there myself?” Thor’s eyes were fixed on Balder studying his slightly nervous expression.

“The allfather instructed me that I should ask you to go immediately to the throne room…” Balder pondered, biting his lower lip.

“I just wouldn’t like to leave Loki until we secure him properly. Father will understand, Balder.”He asked kindly, knowing Balder was compassionate and sweet.

Balder thought about it for some seconds and could not resist Thor’s beseeching eyes. “Fine…I think you are right, who else but us, his brothers, could ensure Loki’s safety and comfort?” Balder nodded.

“I so wish to take that damned muzzle off his face.” Thor whispered almost angrily to Balder.

“Yes, yes, do so immediately, Thor. I can’t stand to see him thusly.” Balder’s eyes were shinning with unshed tears. Balder, always so unbashedly emotional.

The young god took a deep breath and composed himself. He turned towards Loki, “I apologize to you, Loki, for speaking about you as if you weren’t present. We are concerned and distracted, that’s our excuse.”

  
Loki lifted an eyebrow at Balder who placed a hand on his arm, squeezing affectionately.

  
“Go, my warriors, escort my brothers in. I’ll go to the allfather.” Balder told them before running away gracefully.

Thor took Loki by the arm and all the while he went thinking about how his little brother, Balder, had grown up, how he was not a boy anymore. Balder was all he wasn’t, all Loki wasn’t and he was beloved by everyone, even by Loki himself. Thor thought himself flawed and Loki was damaged but  Balder was not called “the beautiful” or “the pure” for nothing.

Loki followed Thor thinking similarly about Balder, he had expected scorn and insults but instead he found patience and compassion. Loki was not sure if that made him feel grateful or if it infuriated him.

When Loki faltered, Thor pulled at his arm slightly and they walked escorted by the guards into the palace. As they stood before Thor’s bedchambers they were surprised.

  
“My lord, my prince,” said one of the guards, “The cell is inside your chambers and we need to pass through them. Now that you’re here, we ask for your permission.”

“Of course,” Thor replied as he opened the door to his chambers. At the end of the large room there was a glass door embedded to the wall and behind it you could see a small alcove.

There were heavy curtains drawn to the sides of the door, as Thor stepped closer he could see the strange metallic lining on the walls inside and the narrow windows close to the tall ceiling. Thor thought it was like a metallic cage embedded to the thick walls of his bedchambers. There was a narrow bed next to the wall with blankets over a thick mattress, a simple coverlet and a pillow. On the left side there was a cushioned bench, a desk and a chair in the corner, he saw a small bathtub and a toilet behind a thick white curtain and nothing else. Loki stood behind Thor as one of the guards handed him the cell key hanging from a thick chain.

“We will now proceed to secure the prisoner inside.” The head guard moved to touch Loki’s arm.

“Don’t you touch the prince, you impudent fool! Who do you think you are?” Thor shoved the man away. “Out! Out of my bedchambers all of you!” Thor shouted losing his temper. “My brother is in my custody and no one can touch him!”

Loki was looking at Thor, eyebrows lifted in an expression of irony and disbelief.

“My lord, I beg you to let us secure him.”The head guard pleaded.

“OUT!” Thor yelled and even Loki got startled by Thor’s voice by Thor’s fingers closing around Mjolnir’s handle.

But as he saw Thor's knuckles whitening as he fisted his hands Loki chuckled darkly, he leaned on the wall, shaking his head at Thor’s outburst.

“What?” Thor whirled to face him. “Are you making fun of me? Go ahead! You always do it, don’t you? why not now?” Thor was on edge, his hands were trembling as the guards left. “I shouldn’t have acted this way. For your entertainment, let me inform you, Loki, that I regret my behavior to these men. I am going to apologize to them... too bad you won’t be there to see it.” Thor all but grunted as he opened the cell door and pulled Loki in. He closed the door behind them and put the key around his neck shoving it inside his tunic.

“This is still home, Loki.” Thor finally smirked and calmed down and Loki went to sit on the narrow single bed next to the wall. Thor had not noticed the chains that came out of the floor and were meant to be attached to the shackles Loki had around his wrists and ankles. Loki would be chained to the floor. Thor frowned at the idea.

“I want you to get comfortable, to take a bath and change to fresh clothes.”Thor said as he knelt before Loki. “I’ll take off your boots.”

Loki simply looked at him with downcast eyes and allowed him to pull off his boots and the black socks covering his feet. Thor held Loki’s foot in his hands noticing it was pale and thin and had dark bruises on the instep and ankle.

“Would you allow me to help you, Loki? “ Thor reached up to Loki’s face and touched the muzzle.”I’ll take this wretched thing off you.”

He tried but at first it seemed impossible, it was seamlessly closed. Then Thor’s face lit up as he took out the cell key and used it to push at the edge of the muzzle. “Make a noise if I hurt you.” He instructed Loki who gestured with his hand for him to continue. After some trial and error Thor found a seam and forced the muzzle open. Loki opened his mouth and moved his lower jaw to stretch the strained muscles. He didn’t speak he just nodded at Thor who looked at him almost triumphant.

“Let’s just help you out of these clothes so that you can take a bath."  Thor moved to the trunk at the bed foot and took out nondescript clothing, a simple grey cotton tunic and soft linen trousers, some undergarments and ankle length black boots.

  
“These will do.” Thor commented as he pulled down Loki’s coat from his shoulders. It caught on the shackles and Loki rolled his eyes at Thor in response.“Would you mind it if I cut this off you?” Thor asked.

Loki shrugged and Thor took out a large thin dagger and cut through the leather sleeves. He cut the tunic’s sleeves, too. “I’ll replace your clothes…I’ll have a new identical set made for you.” He said apologetically.

“It’s all the same to me.”Loki replied with a raspy, low voice. He took his shackled hands to the hem of his trousers which he unclasped and pulled down to his hips. Thor helped him take them off completely.

Thor tried not to look at Loki’s naked form but couldn’t help but notice the half healing bruises, the scrapes and superficial wounds that seemed to be still festering, reddened and swollen all over Loki’s body. Thor had not been able to see it until then and he realized Loki had lost several of his toenails. He dreaded to ask Loki how he had lost those or why his chest and lower belly had so many scrapes and wounds, why his left nipple was purple and reddened and the skin under it seemed infected and painfully tender.

Thor walked to the shower and saw there was simple white soap and a washcloth. He wished the water were warm, but it was, at most, tepid. Loki had moved from his seat on the bed and stood behind Thor, thin, almost too thin, battered and naked, his long elegant hands covering his groin modestly. He watched as Thor filled the bathtub and when it was full Loki stepped in it, hissing as the water touched his wounds.Thor squeezed his brother's shoulders softly as he finally sat in the tub.

"If you want, I can give you some privacy." Thor offered.

  
Loki shook his head thinking he wasn’t exactly embarrassed to be naked before his brother, what shamed him was the state of his body. He knew he had lost a lot of weight and his body seemed weak, pale and bruised all over. "Don’t pity me, triumphant, whole, beautiful Thor." He almost spat the words at Thor and it was like a thought that had escaped his lips.

  
"What?" Thor asked, looking at his brother, a brow raised.

  
"You are beautiful and strong, Thor.” Loki replied and then he whispered and shook his head. "Unlike me."

  
"No, Brother. You are beautiful and strong as well, just in a different way. You’ve been through an ordeal, these are battle wounds, they don’t damage or mar you, they are like honor badges. And you’ve always been an elegant and dashing one, my brother. Don't you remember how many admirers you’ve always had in Asgard?"

  
“I care not for their admiration. If I had admirers because of my appearance in the past it was fickle and it ended when I brought Sleipnir back home with me." He said.”As for battle wounds…I see no honor in getting scars at a war in which you were defeated.” Loki let his head dip in to the water and he gasped as it touched the wounds on his scalp. He sat back up and allowed the tepid water wash and caress him. "I shouldn't have given Sleipnir up to your father, Thor. Now I will never be able to recover him.”He commented knowing it would be impossible then to see his child. “Well, at least he's well loved by Odin."

  
"Father takes very good care of Sleipnir. He spoils him. He feeds him Idunn's apples sometimes…” Thor smiles and he lathered the washcloth and started wiping Loki’s shoulder with it.

  
"What a monster I am!”Loki laughed, chilling and mirthless. “Bearing a child and giving him away as if nothing.”

  
"You are not a monster. You are my Brother." He said the latter as if it completely eradicated what Loki said about himself, “I know how you feel…but Sleipnir is yours nonetheless”. Thor tried to comfort him.

  
"Thor, you fool, when have you given birth to an eight legged horse? When have you given birth to anything at all? How could you know how I feel? Of course you don’t understand how selfish and mean I am…you are everything but that.” Loki growled.

  
“You had to give him up to father, in order to regain your place among us, Loki. Those stupid laws label your sacrifice as a grave offense and the only tribute you could offer was Sleipnir. ANd it was not even to fix your situation, if Sleipnir was father's he would get all of father's protection. I haven’t done such a thing but I can know you were in a great predicament…And Sleipnir is such a marvel, he’s so beautiful and strong. I’d be proud if I were able to bring a new being into life myself. It’s not shameful, it’s miraculous.” Thor said sincerely and he rested his hand on Loki's shoulder. "I am so sorry you feel like this, my brother. I wish I knew how to make you feel better. I wish you could see how amazing you are for being able to do the things you do...your magic, your knowledge..."

  
Loki didn’t reply for some minutes but he felt the warmth of Thor’s hand over his skin and it was pleasant and firm, "Your hand is heavy, it feels so real." Loki leaned his cheek against Thor's hand.

  
"I am real, Loki, I’m here for you." Thor squeezed his brother's shoulders softly.

  
"I know, Thor, it's just that sometimes I feel I'm in a dream…sometimes it’s a nightmare." Loki sighed relaxing as he felt Thor's hand trying to sooth the knots in the muscles of his shoulders.

  
Thor smiled, as he tried to comfort his brother with his hands, kneading kindly. "You are awake, my brother and with me."

  
"Aaah!,"Loki moaned suddenly. “It feels as if I were made of wires and twigs and coils."

  
"You might be, with how skinny you are." Thor jested, reaching for the washcloth to begin cleaning his brother again.

  
Loki's body ached all over but the contact with Thor's hands was gentle and he let him clean him enjoying the contact. Thor continued cleaning Loki’s skin, silent and focused on his brother's health and well-being.

  
Loki felt his body react in an unexpected way that surprised him. Thor’s hands cleaned Loki's chest, without any other intent but to wash off dust and blood but Loki hissed and threw his head back, suddenly pushing Thor's hand away.

  
"Stop! Aaaah! hnnnnnng! Oh, dear heavens!," Loki couldn’t help but moan as he tried to rein himself.

  
Thor startled by Loki’s reaction moved his hands away afraid of having brought him pain. "Brother, what is it? Have I hurt you?"

  
"I'm aroused!" Loki replied breathlessly, a bitter laugh escaping his lips soon after.

  
Thor knelt back down, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

  
"I never thought I would humiliate myself like this before you…I always have utter control over those prosaic things…," Loki whispered as he fought his arousal, pleasure and shame . "I didn't want to...it's just that, you, your hands." Loki gasped and tried to still himself. "This is so shameful!"

  
"Brother... its fine. I do not think of you any less." Thor attempted to comfort him and not to stare at the blush that spread over Loki’s cheekbones, at the reddish tint appearing on his lips.

  
"Why don’t you? Am I not supposed to be your brother? Have I not made myself your enemy? How can I be aroused by your touch?" Loki was still trying to calm down and take control over his bodily responses.

  
"Well, when's the last time you've allowed yourself to feel pleasure? It could be that your body is confused..." Thor rubbed the back of his head again, unsure of what to say or do.

  
"No, Thor you have no idea of how I feel right now...It's not easy for me to feel this way, to lose control of my body. It had never happened to me. I've always been proud of the way my intellect reigns over my body...I do not share myself easily. But I’m feeling this now and with you. And you seem oblivious, untouched as always.” Loki covered his face with his hand and though the arousal was not gone, tears started brimming again in his eyes. "It seems I want to make myself hateful even to the only one who truly cares about me!" Loki remembered, poignantly remembered Thor and himself, ages ago, alone in the dark…

  
Thor seemed to have forgotten about that and Loki didn’t know what hurt him the most, his own lack of control or Thor not remembering those precious moments shared in their pasts. Loki wondered if Thor had dismissed them or simply forgotten them.


	10. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor and Loki have not forgotten their past.

Chapter 10  
Memory

"Walking a thin white line between love and hate  
Wasting all my time in another world  
In another place  
I could use a little company  
A little kindness could go a long way

Weeks turn into months  
Months turn into years  
Reaching the same conclusions  
Gathering up the fear

Come back, come back to me  
I'll be waiting patiently..."  
-Depeche Mode, Come back to me

 

Thor looked at Loki and the memories of their youth came back to him all of a sudden. The blush on his cheek, the dark breathy quality of his voice when he felt the passion pool within him. Thor remembered how the first time he learned and understood sensuality, the first time he felt those glorious moments of pleasure and release had been with Loki's slender and strong hands intimately touching him. He was a little more than a boy and Loki even younger, he woke up startled by pleasure. When he looked down there was Loki, looking at him, touching him. From then on, they would share these pleasurable caresses whenever they craved for them. It was a precious secret for Thor, to bring Loki pleasure and feel pleasure from Loki's touch. 

But Thor was honorable and he would never risk his brother and himself to the stigma their relationship would bring upon their heads. Ergi, the term used for the recipient partner in a sexual relationship between males, would condemn them both. Most people would have thought that Loki would be the only one to be called ergi, little did they know that Thor had first offered his body to Loki. He had allowed him to take him when Loki had asked and later he claimed Loki's body. From then on it was an unspoken agreement for both to give and take as they felt like it. The stigma would fall on them both if ever discovered.  
They had been forced to keep appearances, to bed others, to find female partners that would serve to silence rumours and speculation. It hurt Thor's honorability, mainly because he had felt forced to use two women he considered friends, he chastely loved and who were loyal to him. He felt guilty for using Sif, for having a relationship with her to use it as a mask, a facade. It felt wrong and it brought him great relief when Sif broke up with him. That way he kept her close to his heart as one of his greatest friends.  
Loki felt no qualms about using these ladies. When Thor asked him how he felt about leading them on, using them. as facades, Loki shrugged and said it was an act, that he cared nothing for those women and it was not his choice to lie about his true lover, about Thor.  
"It is not that we are liars and cruel; it is that Asgard forces us to lie. If I am cruel and callous because I do not find pleasure or love in those women that is their fault for falling for me even when it is more than obvious I do not reciprocate..." 

Loki had laughed, Thor felt his velvety laughter resonate over his own chest as Loki had said this while lying on top of him. 

"They are a means to an end...don't worry about them, don't think about them...Not in our time together...not when you can kiss me and I can feel you eager to open yourself to me...to let me touch you there...inside," Loki whispered.

And then there were no more words only sighs and moans before they could rest in each others' arms, sleep and then talk for hours.  
It surprised Thor he remembered those moments, Loki's words, his face, his gestures and expressions so clearly. But then, he lived on those memories.  
And there was this; Loki remembering,as well. Loki broken, defeated and in pain but responding to his touch.  
He leaned to kiss Loki's blushing cheek. He pressed his forehead to Loki's. 

"No,there's nothing to be ashamed of...I was mistaken when I told you your body is confused. Perhaps it is your body the only one who clearly remembers who you are,Loki. Your body knows what is in your heart. You have missed me... as much as I missed you." Thor whispered low and breathlessly. Loki sighed as his wet hand cupped Thor's cheek.

"Let me bring you pleasure..."Thor whispered and his hand dipped into the water to touch Loki's chest and the raven haired god shuddered with desire.

"You are not disgusted by me." Loki muttered.

Thor looked at him as if he could't understand him.  
"Never...no matter what you do to yourself or to others...I know you, Loki, the real you and there is nothing disgusting about you."  
Loki placed his hand over Thor's.

"I thought you had forgotten about us." Loki said and his eyes brimmed with tears.

"How could I forget all I feel for you, all you are for me...You are part of me." Thor smiled and there was such beauty in that face Loki was almost blinded.  
Loki lifted his hips and his arousal came to the surface, engorged and throbbing.  
"They tried to make me forget but they couldn't."Loki whispered and closed his eyes when Thor's hand slid down to his belly. Thor felt the muscles quiver, the smooth almost concave surface now that Loki was so thin.  
Just when Thor gently massaged over Loki's pubic bone a loud knock on the door startled them both.  
Thor groaned exasperated. Loki smirked and nodded resignedly.  
Thor closed the glass door behind him and moved to the door of his chambers. When he opened it Balder was behind it, waiting patiently.  
"My liege, we must head to the throne room." He said."It displeased the allfather you did not show up there as soon as you arrived."

"I first had to make sure Loki was secured..."Thor looked back worriedly. "He needs sustenance."

"I have already ordered food to be brought for him...I chose the menu, I had his favorite dishes prepared, my prince." Balder tried to reassure Thor.

"Balder..." Thor smiled warmly at his little brother."I will give you an order."  
Balder looked at Thor with serious formal eyes, the eyes of a loyal warrior willing to obey his prince.

"No more calling me /my liege/, /my prince/,/your highness or majesty/ or any other title. I am glad you are so happy with your new duties now that you are a fully fledged adult but I don' t want to lose the only title I have that you can use with me...I am either Thor or brother...You do not need these formalities with someone who helped change your diapers." Thor pulled Balder into a tight hug. Balder smirked at the idea of a still small Thor helping with powder or cotton pads " I only trust you to take care of Loki." 

With this Thor put the key to Loki's cell on Balder's hand and left.

to be continued...


	11. Kept secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balder takes care of Loki while Thor goes to the throne room. Balder knows best. Balder seems to know it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been edited so I apologize for typos and mistakes. I'll clean it up later. Real life is always a b%tch and I barely had time to mentally escape to Asgard in order to write this. I think it's not too bad but I promise I'll clean it up soon.

I wish for things that I don't need

All I wanted

And what I chase won't set me free

It's all I wanted

And I get scared but I'm not crawling on my knees

Oh yeah everything's all wrong yeah

Everything's all wrong yeah

Stranger than your sympathy

I take these things so I don't feel

And all these thoughts from the inside out

Now my head's been filled with doubt

(Goo Goo Dolls-Sympathy)

 

Loki stayed there and let his arousal subside. All he needed was the long time it took Thor to return and to think that now he was a prisoner. He was not the cunning, witty prince who was sometimes in trouble due to his pranks but was somehow liked or at least tolerated and always respected as a son of Odin. Now he was a culprit and his parentage took away from him all of his privileges. He finished bathing and dried himself with the linen, among the things in the little bathing room there was a comb made of bone he used to brush his hair. He dressed in the clean but simple clothes left there. Balder waited patiently outside and the food for Loki was brought in a silver tray he had left on Thor’s large desk while Loki finished his bath. Balder stepped toward the glass door and moved the curtains aside. Loki was standing there in the middle of the small cell, seeming thoughtful, a little lost. Balder took the tray and opened the door with the key Thor had given him.

“Step away from the door, facing the wall, brother, please.” He indicated and Loki shrugged and complied.

“You are truly treating me as you have been told to treat me, how obedient and wise of you, Balder.” Loki observed when Balder closed the door behind him and set the tray on the desk.

“I’m sorry if it offends you Loki, now I have duties and the security of Asgard is my priority…but you are my brother and I love you. Don’t doubt it just because I try to follow the protocol given to me.” Balder thought that was the weakest justification ever given to anyone but still attempted to smile at Loki. “You must understand your behavior puts all of us who love you into a great deal of predicaments.”

“Little Balder…when did you change so much? Now you’re tall and lean and hard…You were a chubby, plump cheeked boy not long ago. And now you speak of official duties…No matter how much merit you obtain, you’ll never be king of Asgard, do you know that? No matter how much you change…” Loki felt the need to vent some of his anger and Balder was always a good mark to aim, a dummy mark since he would not defend himself and Loki was tired to fight, he only wanted to attack. Balder looked at Loki with sad and very light blue eyes.

"Yes, I’ve changed, Loki, like everyone does, most of the times, dear brother. I've learned it's not always possible to be loved by those you love, that those closer to you are the ones that can potentially hurt you the most." Balder said in a solemn, calm voice."Maybe you should also learn from me, that ruling is not the only thing that matters, here or in any other realm, that ruling is more a burden than a joy." He added.

“I don’t wish to rule, Balder, rest assured of that for now. I just wished I could not be here, a prisoner to be ridiculed and be the laughing stock of Asgard.” Loki bit his lower lip thoughtfully as if considering his own motivations .

"You need to pay for what you’ve done. You need expiation of your wrong doings, dear brother. Freedom is a privilege that has to be earned and can be lost if you abuse it." Balder said softly, “And you deserve the chance of making up for your mistakes. All we, Thor, mother, father and I, want is to take care of you...I never even agreed on this kind of confinement. I think you must atone for your misguided deeds but I also know that people need love and care the most when they deserve it the least...like you. I love you, Loki, dearly, purely and tenderly, though you don’t deserve it…yet."

Loki scoffed, “You love me, your father loves me!Do not say things you do not mean and don’t speak in behalf of others, little Balder.” He smirked, and looked at his hands.

Balder’s eyes filled with tears but he fought bravely to keep his composure."And you say Thor is the haughty, arrogant one! Who are you to know what's truly in anybody’s heart. You have never cared for the feelings of anyone else but yours." Balder said calmly but a tear slid down his high cheekbone which gave his reproach a disconcerting effect.

Loki looked at his younger brother in shock, “Balder, I did not mean…I did not…”he faltered looking back at those eyes that seemed those of a child, untainted, clear, innocent but at the same time incredibly wise, Balder had Frigga’s eyes. “I am sorry. I didn’t think you would cry, please, do forgive me. It is just that your love for me, you’re right I don’t deserve it.” He reached out to touch Balder’s cheek, “But you love everyone, Balder...” Loki smiled a genuine smile and wiped a few of his brother’s tears away, “I did not wish to upset you.”

"Then, have something to eat and stop being contrary.” Balder smiled softly. “ You'll still be a prisoner but you'll be treated as the prince you are...and as my beloved and much admired older brother." He took Loki's hand in his and pressed it in between his soft and warm palms. “It’s like recovering my two older brothers finally.”

“Thor only went to midgard for a short period of time, he has always been with you.” Loki said as he sat and took of the lid that covered his food.

“Thor had not been himself for a long while…” Balder whispered, “Since your... strangement that day when he ruined the bridge... It was as if he had been lost to us. But now I see his eyes, and there’s strength and light in them.” BAlder furrowed his brow and looked down at his brother, “When you were boys, you slept in the same bed and sparred together and were inseparable, you never thought twice of your closeness, it was a given. I saw you as I grew up and envied you slightly, I wished I had a brother close to my age, someone to grow up with. But I know your closeness is such…” he swallowed and stepped back, looking worried and regretful of what he wanted to say “... never mind. I am speaking nonsense.” He said shaking his head when Loki gave him a sharp inquisitive look.

"Yes, we used to be inseparable." Loki smiled repeated in a studied, calm voice. “But you found others to replace that sibling…closeness.”Loki added trying to make Balder say more.

“I…I trust Thor will stop being melancholy and lonely now that you’re back. It doesn’t suit him to be like that. He is made to laugh and spar, and ride in the sunlight and banter and have good times. He has suffered hell without you." Balder said nervously.

Loki gazed at him, his face relaxed and smiling gently, “...What do you mean, Balder? You missed me less than Thor” He stood up and walked towards his brother. He stood in front of him. He believed him. He believed that Thor was different now, and believed that his propensity to judge others had greatly diminished as well as his arrogance and even his impulsiveness, to some degree.

“I didn’t say that…I did miss you a lot but Thor and you…” Balder was getting more and more nervous by the minute. “I have Nanna, you see, and if I lost her, I think it would affect me the same way your absence affected Thor…It’s one thing to lose a brother than to lose a…When you miss someone who is close to you in... so many ways.”

Loki tried to hide his shock. Balder knew, Balder knew about Thor and him. Either he had seen something or his infallible intuition told him about the complex nature of their relationship. Loki wanted to laugh, to cry. He felt as nervous as if he were being sentenced.

To be continued...


	12. Breaking dam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor confronts the Council about Loki's punishment. Odin and Thor share ideas. Thor stands his ground. Balder feels awkward, Thor feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started before the trailer of Thor 2.

aftermath12  
Thor knelt and bowed at the feet of the stairs that led to the throne. The council had murmured at his entrance, surely offended by his delay.   
"I apologise, Allfather, for not having come to your presence immediately after my arrival. The allfather must understand I had the fraternal obligation of securing my brother and seeing to his injuries first. Discredited or not he is my kin and I am his keeper as I always have been."

To this the council murmured and gasped again and it took Thor's great will not to yell at them to shut up. 

"There is no offense taken, my son. Rise and hear what the council has proposed to me about the fate of your brother and my child, Loki."

Thor nodded and stood up to listen. "The council has reluctantly agreed to leave your brother under your custody for the time being. He is considered a culprit and awaits trial. The council has proposed to the allfather to judge the culprit as Loki Laufeyson and not as Loki Odinson and it is that proposal I would like to discuss with you."

Thor turned to look at the other gods in the council and his eyes flashed with lightning. He could barely contain his anger.

"As Laufeyson there would be no leniency for him and we would be repudiating him, casting him out of our family and both ideas are disgusting to me as they should be to you, allfather, and the queen, my mother!" Lightning stroke very close and thunder made the windows of the throne room rattle violently as Thor glared at the council."Loki killed Laufey in the allfather's defense.That act confirms his fealty to his king and his love for the allfather. He's confirmed his place and position among us." Thor spoke almost too loudly.

"I am glad you share my opinions, Thor."Odin replied simply and the council murmured again. "Loki is Odinson and no less. I adopted him and raised him as my own. Even if he refuses my name I have given it to him and only I could decide to disown him. Loki Odinson is a prince of Asgard and as such he must be treated. His deeds are abhorrent to me but he is not. I consider he has been driven by confusion of the mind and not by his true nature, which is prone to mischief,yes, but not naturally evil." Odin pronounced and all the council members murmured again and this time Thor had it. 

"Silence! You have no right to question the allfather's decision and you have no heart if you can't understand what he is going through as a father...What I am suffering as a brother. You who are so willing to condemn my brother for his transgressions without any leniency are the same ones who laughed and found mirth in his wit and grace and wanted him at your feasts and convivials, you are the same ones who happily received the convenient and wonderful presents that he obtained with his cunning and nothimg else. You were not the ones who killed the father who gave you life but abandoned you in order to save the father who adopted you! "Thor's fingers gripped Mjolnir tight. 

The council murnured again."We need time to consider." they said. " He will be judged as Odinson and remain under the thunderer's custody."   
Thor looked at them nodding and then he looked at the allfather."You are dismissed, my son." said Odin.

Thor made his way back to the room eager to see Loki. He waited there at the door and stared at Loki resting on the cot. Balder stood up and watched as Thor stared at his disgraced brother with a mix of pain and want in his blue eyes that made Balder want to run away from them as he felt the weight of their secret on his shoulders.   
Thor felt Balder's eyes on him and quickly turned to look at him and smiled shakily.  
"Balder, I had forgotten you stayed here to guard him." he said softly.  
"Thor, I can leave now, if you need no other service from me" he said softly.  
"Stay for a while. Sit with me." Thor replied.He poured a glass of wine for him and another one for himself." He sleeps now." Thor said softly. "His injuries are healing."  
"They were grievous." Balder commented and sipped at his wine.   
"Yes, but his health will improve, my brother." Thor said hopeful and serious.  
Balder was looking down at his own hands, at his glass."How did you find Midgard? Is it much changed?" Balder attempted at conversation.   
Thor studied Balder's face, there were Odin's eyes, the same blue of the remaining one. His hair a shade lighter than copper, light enough to be considered blonde. It was wavy and silky on his head. He recognised his own jaw and the oval of his own face in Balder's, the same high cheekbones, the clean forehead. Balder's eyes were round, childlike and bordered by long thick lashes, his nose was fine and a litte flat and rounded at the tip, his lips full and smiling most of the times. There was an air of innocense.and wonder in that beloved face and Thor, already on edge, reached to stroke his cheek. Balder was surprised but he put his hand over Thor's and that was all it took to break the dam. A kind, warm, understanding presence, the loving touch of his young brother's hand and Thor averted his eyes as they flooded with tears.   
"This darkness...these dark days have chased away the warmth in my heart, Balder. What happened to us?" he whispered and Balder put his hand on his shoulder wondering how to make things better for Thor."Are we really destined to pain, to struggle, to destruction?" Thor could not meet Balder's eyes. He was talking about Loki and himself, about Loki's role in the prophecies, of Balder's.fate in them."We fare no better than mortals, then, but we fare worse, they at least can die of old age after having brief.but happy lives." he laughed but it was a painful, sad laugh. Loki was stirring. Balder stood up sharply. He didn't want to be there suddenly, with the two of them and their emotions.


End file.
